Why is the beginning of something the hardest? Why must we overcome obstacles to begin? And how do we stop the fear of starting from taking over us?

Because we must truly believe in what we want and be willing to go after it, sacrifices and all. So this is step one. For the little boy lying in my arms. So that we may both have a brighter future. One that doesn’t involve class warfare, social unrest and overall unease.

Everyone says it takes 10,000 hours to be proficient at something. I’ve just passed that mark in my web design career, yet hardly feel like I’m proficient at that. With so many beautiful designs out there, I hardly feel like I’m worthy to stand among the crowd. Does talent play any role in our proficiency? If that’s the case, then maybe I’m just lacking talent. Or drive. Or focus. But the design part? It’s always been difficult for me. Not easy peezy. Not even breezy.

So, I’m deciding to spend more of my time on what has always come easier for me: writing. I’m working on a few different projects (a serial novel, a copywriting side business, perhaps a course) and you’ll probably be reading more of me on here as I’m determined to write about the things that matter most to me. I’ve also started a private collection of letters to my now 2 month old son, which I hope to share with him one day about all my hopes and dreams for him. (Even though I have only one that really counts: For him to grow up healthy and happy.)

Here’s to 10,000 hours. And to another more doing what I really love: writing.

My Beautiful Baby Boy

All parents say that having a child is the best thing that’s ever happened to them. And, I happen to agree. But I still feel guilty.

Every parent wants to be able to provide their child with all they had and more. And yet, I feel guilty because I didn’t do enough to prepare for this. Sure, I read the books, read the blogs, tried copying the pros. But it just wasn’t enough. I still don’t feel like I have the confidence to convince a client that I could write some copy for them. I’ve read how to market myself as a writer, but how to make that career switch, when currently I’m only seen as a web designer? I feel like clients will say, “Well what practice do you have?” and I won’t be able to meet their expectations.

I am sure I’m not alone. Probably lots of new parents want a stay-at-home job so they can take care of their little ones. I know I’m searching high and wide. And I don’t need to make 100K right off the bat, just matching my little salary will do. But I’m afraid. Afraid of looking like a fool because I just don’t know how to get results.

My website promises that if I don’t get results I’ll tweak the customer’s copy until I do. But even then, I’m afraid I won’t be able to and I’ll end up disappointing my clients.

As the New Year turned, I resolved to make this the year I’d go out and start finding clients. But I’m terrified I won’t be able to help them and I’ll just crash and burn. The biggest question I fear: “But HOW will you get results?” And I don’t know the answer.

2012 is the year I resolved to FOCUS (follow one course until successful). So you can imagine how excited I was to read about the Damn Fine Words writing course in the Men with Pens newsletter. But I was quickly disappointed. There was no way I could afford the price tag, even though I was sure it could make me more than that (& it certainly is worth more than that!). I kept looking for another course like it, only in my price range. I looked at some more books and daydreamed about the opportunity I had to pass up.

Instead of building up my own writing business I turned to looking for freelance design jobs, something to keep me home with my new child. I kept hearing my parents voices in my head, saying that writing will never be a lucrative enough career for me to have and still be able to raise a family.

The pressures new parents face are overwhelming at times. Add to that the stress of looking for a new job, while working full-time with a looming no-more-telecommuting-deadline and you have a mother who is having a difficult time to say the least. Writing, I feel is my only way out. My way to control the amount of money I make and to have a stable home environment for my child.

The Damn Fine Words writing course is THE opportunity I’ve been waiting for. Just Module 1 Section 03 – How to Create External-Internal Balance would be invaluable to me, building my confidence in my writing skills would help motivate me to get to the next level.

And Module 2 Section 05 – How to Discover Your Ideal Reader is what everyone always talks about, but doesn’t ever offer specific suggestions on how to actually find out.

Being able to take the Damn Fine Words writing course will help me banish my guilt to say the least. It’ll help me grow in ways that I’m excited to be growing in. It’ll help me finally say, “Yes I can be a successful writer.” And it’ll help me provide the best for my child: a mother who can work from home and be around to provide all the love and support I have to give.

The last year of the world, if you believe in that sort of stuff. What are you going to do to make it the best?

If it is going to be the last year, what will you do differently? Will you finally go after that big goal, the one you’ve been dying to find time to accomplish? Or will you skate by, another year to go, closer to that final day?

What’s playing on your music stream lately?

I’ve been going to upbeat music to help me get through a stressful, trying time. My new playlist has tons of Lady Gaga, Pink, No Doubt, Rihanna, and other dance music with a really fast beat. It simulates an energy, that I may or may not actually be feeling. I do agree that the type of music you listen to can effect your personality, as I am feeling happier when I listen to the kind of music that makes me want to move.

I’m looking for some really great indie music, maybe the next dance music star or just someone who can really belt out the tunes. Any ideas?

Facebook takes up a lot of my time, usually. Except that I go through extended periods of time where I hardly spend any time on it at all. With the advent of Twitter, even less time gets spent on Facebook, mostly because the people I’ve connected with via Twitter are so different than the people I allow on my Facebook status. Facebook is considered by me to be my “private” network, whereas Twitter is anything but. I allow myself to follow authors whose work I enjoy reading, people in my neighborhood who may have heard of me through my writing or just people who say interesting, funny things. Because who really doesn’t like to laugh?

But in actuality, how important to our lives is Facebook? I honestly couldn’t dream of not having it now and peeking into the lives of people I hardly ever see, most not by choice but by proximity. For instance, I do not see my cousins very often as they live down south, but I can and do keep in contact with them via Facebook. And it is great for the family too. I can pass along news seamlessly, and have the most recent up-to-date information, so I feel somewhat more connected to them. There are some days when I ask myself if it is all a grand illusion, if I am not really more connected to people because of it, but then I have to ask myself if I would be able to talk to people as freely as I do when I’ve known some things they’ve done or talked about. And honestly, I wouldn’t be as open. I wouldn’t talk to my cousin about something other than her daughter and her family life if not for Facebook.

We live in a different, exciting time. Things are changing so fast as we struggle to keep up with all the changes. What do you think, is Facebook really worth it?

This is absolutely amazing! I’m writing this draft from a touchscreen keyboard. It has a definite surreal quality to it.

Hot for this past week:

Vacation day (Friday!)

Tori Amos’ Midwinter Graces CD

Finishing up Christmas Shopping

Snow, Glorious Snow

New Ideas

Not Hot for this week:

Sick Husband

Engine Breaks Prohibited Signs

Not being able to eat Dairy

Overall, it’s been a pretty good week.  Be sure to check out Loobylu for more Hots & Nots!

There are simply too many choices in life sometimes.  Take dining out, for example.  More choices than you can shake a stick at.  It makes deciding difficult.  Buying Christmas presents, the same way!  Everyone makes it apparent what they’d like, so you’re left choosing.  Get the blue one or the red one?

Today, I skipped choices.  I  already knew what I wanted.  I went and got it.  And do you know what?  It was FUN!  I passed places I could have eaten for lunch, but nope.  I had already planned on eating at Bruegger’s Bagels.  Having my choices already planned for me made for a very relaxing day.

What choices are overwhelming you today?

Hot for this week:

* Reggaeton Radio on iTunes: Giving the appropriate bursts of high-energy music to push out as much work as possible.

* Our first snow of the year!

* Salsa lessons: They are exercise and memory tests all at the same time. And Chris and I have got all the new steps down!

* Jen Gray knowing exactly what to post that’s so pertinent in my life right now.

Not for this week:

* Feeling jealous

* Ice on top of the snow

* Bald back tires

* Tedious tasks

So, that’s the list.  Check out Loobylu for inspiration and more lists!